today, a friend brought up the myer briggs personality tests. i remember doing it back in secondary school as part of some leadership thing. i am quite distinctively an ENFP and part of that is not following through on things…

hence the somewhat absence.

but the brains have never stopped ticking away with ideas and reflections. the heart has never stopped desiring to create. now the body though, have been sucked into a mundane humdrum of a part time job, and of course the feasting that is Christmas and Chinese New Year. Not forgetting my 11 day reunion with the husband.

Rejuvenated, i remember also, why I have only ever chosen the mundane humdrum in temporary periods, and this time, I’ve let it go on for a tad too long.

Today, I had an invigorating day of talking ideas with a couple of very important people in my life as an artist here in Singapore. Artists themselves, a playwright, a producer and a painter, all of whom I have only known briefly since November and December. But all of whom have clicked very well, as we share our visions and experiences, the dark questions and the idealistic dreams – in our conversations, we forged a quiet partnership with each other, of mutual support and understanding, and most of all, of belief.

I believe that is true. And for me, a deep assurance that I am finding and forming a community of like-minded artists of various practices, vocabulary and form, but of one shared belief of a life of making art.

Matt (the painter) asked me today if I feel disappointed if and when a participant doesn’t respond in my works. I cited the time of the 3 postcards I received from the work at Free Range 2011 and Dear Patti Smith, where in total I must have given out at least 80 postcards and a little more. I’m not sure I can (re)write the answer I gave him right now, it feels like that is a blog post on it’s own, but I came home close to midnight and found a letter for me. It was from Wesley Enoch, artistic director of the Queensland Theatre Company. 6 months on since my time at !Metro Arts in Brisbane where he witnessed my work and was also a provocateur for the residency, with whom we had rather invigorating conversations with about art and art making, theatre works that work and the ecology of it all – here it was, a postcard from him 6 months on.

Today calls for a proper blog post to be written about following through on my art works, and what that means, for myself the artist, and myself the person. Where does discipline and “excitement” find their balance for me? And more so, when does Time serve the work, or not? Take the Paper Pinwheel Project for example. I have very deep reflections since beginning on it, and I am still thinking about the next steps and have ideas for it – and yet, when should I continue on it, or should I already have done it. Or how actively should I act on something like that, pushing ahead a next step, a next phase, and balancing that with how much space do I give in order for it to discover development.

That should be and will be written about. That I can say for sure.

Today, I also talked about, again, why I do my work the way I do now, and what I want out of it. To inspire, to awaken, to evoke – that You discover and that You act, and become. I don’t know if this has been true for all the people who have participated in my performance works, but I know a few who have genuinely appreciated my art, starting to “see the world a little differently” if I may quote a past participant and now husband of mine.

Today, we exchange thoughts on the way I engage and interact with people in my everyday. We used the Myer Briggs test as a reference. Matt and Terence shared their honest opinions. It was all very affirming. And again, the clarity for me, to understand why I do my work the way I do now, and what I want out of it.

It has been a most beautiful day.

And to top it off, Wesley’s postcard read:

“THE SUN RISES AND SETS
THE LAST STREAKS OF LIGHT ILLUMINATE ALL THAT MAN HAS CREATED
BUT IN THE DARKNESS
ALL THAT WOMAN HAVE CREATED
SHINE BRIGHT”

It couldn’t have been any better today. Thank you.

Now to begin writing out the ideas already in my head.